Operation TJBIZSM: Was I NMC?

For those of you not obsessed with military acronyms, NMC means Not Mission Capable.

I did not win the finals. I believe I did well with the moment that was given to me, and for a very good and important reason, God has me remaining here -- being Zeke's Sugar Mama in the intangible ways that only a good wife and mother can do.

My first thought? I felt a strange relief afterwards when I realized I wouldn't have to deal with the stress of leaving our home, coordinating care for Liam while competing in the Army-wide finals, arranging for someone to replace me here with my church group, etc...

Funny enough, my second thought was this:

Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Casey's manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey's bearing and a smile on Casey's face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Casey at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey's eye, a sneer curled Casey's lip.

...

The sneer is gone from Casey's lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville - mighty Casey has struck out.

Ernest Lawrence Thayer (1888)

Operation TJBIZSM: The Saga Continues!

Bottom line:  *this little lady right here* is in the Bamberg finals. Our post will have its final round at our Oktoberfest celebration in 2 weeks, and I plan on tearing the roof off that place with my fabulousness... which shouldn't be too difficult, being that our venue will be outdoors.

For this most recent round, I ended up drawing #6 from the hat -- the final performer. I followed on the heels of 4 traditional ballads and a slow Alicia Keys number. And how did I follow? With my interpretation of an Alanis Morissette piece. Booyah, my friends. Booyah.

It's not my best performance by any stretch of the imagination, and I can blame only so much on the "German Funk" that is inhabiting my sinuses and throat this week, but still. I had fun, I noticed people grinning and singing along in the audience, and that's what it all comes down to. Well, that and that whole bottom line part -- I'm going to the finals.  And for my next 5 minutes of fame, I'll be giving the judges the ballad they've been wanting out of me.

Oh, and listen closely to the chatter at the beginning... shortly after I get the guitar plugged in, you can hear Liam say, "Mommy's going to sing 'Ironic.'" Such a cool kid. (I believe he also said, "I gotta go potty" shortly after he said, "All done" and folks stopped clapping. What a guy.)

Operation TJBIZSM

For an expansion of the aforementioned acronym, please see the previous post. I was trained as a lawyer and Zeke has given me the Army life on a silver platter, so there is no escaping acronyms in our existence... no matter how absurd they may be at times.

Long story short:  Round 3, here I come! Made it through the last round and had a blast. My dear friend Aimee flew in from Wales for the weekend and was able to be in the audience, playing with Liam and cheering me on. I told her she's going to have to return for the next round because she was definitely a good luck charm!

For this round, the audience was able to participate in voting and our faithful spectators put in more than 360 votes. Everyone seemed to have a really good time -- and I can't wait to raise the bar for myself even higher next week.

We were required to have accompaniment for this round (and all to follow), and I opted to play guitar instead of sing along to a pre-recorded track. I performed "Hallelujah," written and performed originally by Leonard Cohen but made more famous by the likes of Jeff Buckley... and the movie Shrek.

I think I got a nice boost in votes for doing a song from Shrek. Food for thought.

For a video of my performance (and the fun, constructive comments from the judges), here you go. Enjoy!

Operation Rising Star...

aka Operation Turn Jess Back Into Zeke's Sugar Mama

I made it through the first round, with three to go (in Bamberg, that is). We're looking at competitions every two weeks, and for the remaining rounds, I will be able to play the guitar for backup. SUPER EXCITED about this opportunity -- Operation Rising Star is the only practical way someone in our lifestyle can have access to such a venture. I feel good after last night, but it's a long road ahead and I'm going to bust my patootie and see where this experience takes us.

Here's a video of my performance. Feel free to tell me your thoughts, both positive and critical -- the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement and goodness knows I am sitting my butt on a stool smack-dab in the middle of that room right now.

I already have some recommendations for myself to start off the list:

1.  Push past the weird plexiglass throat-crushing device that tends to grab at me when I start singing in such circumstances. It's not real. So just get over it.

2.  Make sure I take time to let the phrases settle on everyone's ears. I don't know where the fire was last night, but I seemed to be running from it vocally. I don't want to turn it into a funeral dirge, but I shouldn't take for granted the time needed for the audience to care.

Now it's your turn. Be my Simon Cowells.  And Simon, if you happen upon my blog, be my Simon. Give me your worst. 

(Sidebar:  Who here thinks Simon Cowell might Google his name?  Don't we all?  And if, in fact, he does, what are the chances his Googling quest will lead him here? If all those fabulous little events transpire, how excellent would that be? A productive and inspiring insult critique from him would be like manna for this songbird's soul.)

Lots o' Liam

Because I owe you guys. Big time.

So I'm not making any excuses, but (prepare for list of excuses right about...now) Liam and I are so busy these days, doing what we do, that I often forget to take snapshots or videos, let alone post to the blog. But I have been beyond remiss lately. Call it my summer vacation.

Liam is doing so well.  He speaks in detailed, complex sentences; he remembers way more than I'd like him to; he has a knack for problem-solving, especially if he talks it out to himself or me (cutest thing ever to see a little 2-year-old putter around the house mumbling to himself like a geriatric) and he is just a wonderful young man. He potty-trained pretty much without incident back in May, and even since Zeke has been deployed, Liam hasn't regressed a bit. He handles it like a pro. Same with sleeping (still a serious napper, which makes me a happy mama) and eating (he scarfed down a wrap I made with TAHINI in it today. Weirdo).

Now for the fun -- I'll let the videos and pictures speak for themselves... unless I can't help myself and have to tag them with some witty little ditty. Videos are at the end -- and totally worth the wait.

When I work out in the morning, he climbs into
Daddy and Mommy's bed and nestles under the covers with a good book.

(Don't worry, it's not loaded. And the event was supervised.)

Just like Daddy's rifle

Clearing his weapon. I'm sure Daddy is proud
(though not proud about the fact that Liam is pointing the gun directly at Mali while clearing)

"Tough Like Daddy" says it all. *snicker*

Popcorn With Liam: Sundays at 9pm on A&E

Our Little Tailor

So I guess we can see where Liam gets the tongue-sticking-out thing from

Riding his first Hog

Anyone who has ever had a few beers with Zeke knows just how perfect this picture is.

This is my house.

I'm so mean to post this, but come on! How funny is this?!?!
Caption could read:  If this is how the day is starting, I might as well go right back to bed.

Liam loves sticks. Our checking account loves that Liam loves sticks.

Mali is cheering for Liam because he had just finished peeing on the sidewalk.
Right. Next. To. Her. Foot. True friends right there.

Liam's most recent heartbreak: losing one of his girlfriends, Kailey, to the Army --
they made her family move away (and I lost a dear gal pal -- miss you Christi!!)

If Doogie Howser had been into dude things, more attractive, smarter, and funnier...
He would be Liam.

Liam and his crew taking a much-needed nap

Just like Mommy: cleaning the kitchen with the phone at the ready in case
Daddy calls!

He annihilated this meal: peas, grilled tilapia, and "purple potatoes"
(mashed potatoes combined with oat bran & boiled purple cabbage and topped with parm cheese -- delish!) 

Don't tell me this kid doesn't look like his Daddy. When he wants to, he whips out the various Zeke looks
and breaks my heart

He also breaks my heart when he shares his juice with his Velociraptor

I helped him build a dog... and he turned it into this!

... and then he fell asleep at dinner an hour later

"Angry face, with the ears, just like Daddy!"
He does this look, prefacing it with that statement, just about every day.
I KNOW.

And finally, some videos of our precious little guy:

"Bumble Bee" by Liam and Mommy

Liam's First Solo Somersault

The Nose Horn

OUR BABY CAN READ, YO!!

Wir sind NICHT Berlinern.

In June 1963, President John F. Kennedy stood on the western side of the newly-erected Berlin Wall and summarized America's support for and solidarity with Western Berlin, declaring, "Ich bin ein Berliner!" The former President did not mean he was a doughnut, although many people like to joke about that one. He was actually being technically correct to a T -- he was not a citizen of Berlin, but a comrade. Ein Berliner. COME ON PEOPLE.

After Zeke, Liam, and I spent a day in Berlin back in early May, we unanimously agreed that we are fans of Bavaria, Franconia, and Bamberg... not Berlin.  Berlin seemed more like a glorified, expansive Detroit.  The streets weren't clean, the people weren't social (even for German standards), and the "sights to see" were swarming with shady skeezes. We were humbled and proud to see the remnants of the Wall and Checkpoint Charlie, but we were so excited to get back home to our beautiful surroundings.

Riding in style... as always

Our first stop was on Jesse Owens Drive -- a view of the Olympic Stadium. I didn't learn this fact until writing this blog, but the tradition of carrying the Olympic torch as a precursor to the Games was started here in Berlin in 1936. The torch was lit by sunlight in Olympia and carried by 3,000 different relay runners the distance to Berlin. This year, the torch made its final approach into London via David Beckham's speedboat... not exactly the same commute, but it's in the spirit of the tradition, right?

The Olympic Stadium (site of the 1936 Olympic Games, where Jesse Owens made history)

View of Berlin from the Olympic bell tower -- the skyline is peppered with nuclear power plants, which will be shut down within a few years if Merkel's plan is successful

Reproduced Olympic Bell (original is just outside the stadium), branded with a depiction of Brandenburg Gate, the Imperial eagle, and the inscription, "Ich rufe die Jugend der Welt," or "I call the youth of the world"

The bell tower atop Langemarck Halle (controversially named for and dedicated to student soldiers killed in Belgium in WWI)

Our tour guide informed us that this particular branch of beliefs has such little support in Berlin that those running the organization can't afford to keep the lights on

A military ceremony we had the fortune of stumbling upon; our group also had the chance to shake the new mayor's hand (although we personally didn't)

No introduction needed, I hope

See above

Again, see above  :)

SO HANDSOME. As Maralyn told me right after Zeke proposed, I am "one lucky b*tch"

Rome has made its imprint everywhere, hasn't it? (Disregard the weird black circle and rectangle on the bus window)

Our second stop was Checkpoint Charlie, the most famous checkpoint separating East and West Berlin. It was here where Soviet and American tanks faced off mere feet from one another (and inches from raising the temperature of the Cold War drastically).

Just outside Checkpoint Charlie, select portions of the Wall are on display

This one rocked me emotionally -- our tour guide told us just how accurate this painting was, as his own family was severed by the Wall

Seriously? There is a movement now to upgrade the sanctity of Checkpoint Charlie and remove such commercialism from the nearby blocks

Checkpoint Charlie and its museum. On the West side, a large picture of an American soldier is displayed. On the reverse, a picture of a Soviet soldier greets those on the East side

We were thisclose to buying this fab little Soviet number. At least we have a picture to immortalize the moment

"O-M-G I am standing on THE WALL!!"

More of the Wall, still standing (though it is heavily chipped away)

Our next stop was the area surrounding Brandenburg Gate. Just beyond where our bus stopped was a unique Holocaust memorial:

Dedicated to the Jews murdered during Hitler's reign -- the ground is unbalanced throughout and the blocks vary in size and height to give passersby an incredibly unstable and unsettled feeling

...well, almost every passerby. Liam seems perfectly fine with The Land of Really Cool Blocks

Liam demanded we take a picture of the American flag. I love that this beautiful symbol of freedom and liberty flies in just about every single corner of the world

Brandenburg Gate

Our final stop where we were left to roam the city was the main train station in Berlin. The day we were in town was the day of a HUGE soccer game -- and the raucous fans were already drunk by midday and threatening the Polizei. Unfortunately for the fans, the Polizei were not in the mood and were heavily armed (we mean heavily -- think American police during the Civil Rights protests and various big-city riots). At one point, the enormous crowd surged as the Polizei came in with their large plastic shields to tote away the worst offenders.

Look for the green helmets. WHOA.

Liam slept through the riots

A very organized drinker (common in Germany) -- he should get this keg tote patented!

Polizei awaiting the next drunken stumble by a soccer fan

After snaking through the crowd, we found a decent restaurant (which was serving Thanksgiving-style food, so odd) and then bought a delicious pastry at Dunkin' Donuts. Now that's my kind of Berliner.

Once we got home, we breathed in our fresh, clean, Bavarian air, and thanked our lucky stars that we weren't put on a base anywhere near Deutschland Detroit.

Wir sind NICHT Berlinern, for sure. But it's good to have that confirmed.